Psychological-Bondage

Bondage is not all about the actual restraints, or using the more obvious techniques such as physical control. There are deeper, more sublime methods that can render a word, a touch, or even a glance more powerful than the strongest cuff. The usual essence of bondage play is centered upon the idea of one of the partners being physically restrained by cords or handcuffs. But is physical bondage the only way to control your partner’s movements? I think not.

A serious partaker of such exotic interests would no doubt agree that physical bondage is not the be all and end all. Bondage can just as easily be psychological, where just an order can keep prevent a lover from moving from a given position. Bondage, as it has been described, is the state of being under the control of another person. And no one said that the control had to be only material, or physical. No one said it couldn’t be psychological, either.

It was early on that I began to realize that my own surrender lay not in cuffs or scarves. No, I submitted not to these, but to the will of my controlling lover. The true feeling of being submissive originates from him, not the cuffs or collars we use during our scenes of rough sex. I am drawn deeper and deeper into my compulsion the more he shows determination and confidence in his purpose. His ability to make our erotic fantasies come alive makes me recognize that I don’t need the bondage toys in order for me to feel bound by his will. The more I can do without them, the more I know that my submission has found totality in his mental power over me. My psychological bondage is complete.

It might seem to others that this all arises due to the charisma, the strength of will, of the lover who is in control. It’s that quality that comes from people who love to lead, and who do it well. However, for me it’s different from that. Yes, I am magnetized by everything he does and is; he is my partner and lover after all. However, the fact remains that I obey, not by consequences or force, but by psychological bondage. I obey because I am compelled to. This mental stimulation is borne from a powerful devotion, a commitment just as potent as if brought on by physical acts and commands.

Sometimes I feel I do not so much as fear him, but am stirred by him. He rouses and arouses me in ways I could not have believed possible till I discovered that obeying his mere spoken commands gave me the greatest satisfaction. It’s usually only realistic in long-term commitments to form that right level of psychological bondage tying one submissive partner to the other, more dominating one.

Some would call it dysfunctional, even unhealthy. However I have never felt that my emotional well-being has been affected in any negative way. As is true with any new foray into certain sexual practices, there must be the proper preparation, communication and trust to make sure that either participant enjoys the underlined effect of being psychologically bound. When my partner and I first started to explore the realms of rough sex and the delights of many exotic scenes of role play and bondage, we realized how much we had to gain.

With psychological bondage, I learned to trust him with not just my body, but my entire self as a person. With mere words and expressions, I soon learned to understand everything he wanted from me. This helped in intensifying our relationship all the more because we’d taken things a step further into giving and taking control.

Seeing the power of verbal command being felt in a physical way, gives us both a thrill that can’t be described. Imagine, for example, being at work and your lover calling you on the phone, telling you to take off your panties and not wear them till you get home where he’ll be waiting. There you are, incapable of disobeying even if you know he has no way of knowing if you didn’t do what you were told to at the time. That’s compulsion, and a flow of control from one to another that will always bring that sweet edge to everything we do, both inside and outside the bedroom.

Some people think that allowing your self to be materially bound is bad enough; to however, succumb even without actual force/restraint, seems hard to conceive to them, even for the sexual thrill. To understand psychological bondage, we must figure out the whole basis of the willingness to submit. Why submit? Why put yourself in someone else’s power, to be used for their pleasure – yet mostly hoping to receive pleasure in return?

It’s very hard for some people to answer these questions, but it is clear that many get off from surrendering, in some way, to their partner during sex, or in the relationship in general. It turns them on to know that someone else is in control. I feel that in some way, in many aspects, bondage is actually liberating. You lose many of your uptight, contrived ideas of sex and pleasure. Bondage allows things happen that otherwise would not happen. It is a powerful tool indeed, and not just a physical one, but a psychological one.

Published by Rosie Raphaelle

Her mission is to show women how to have fun, safe and meaningful sex. Her sex tips articles has been published in many women's magazines.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *