Painful or traumatic experiences are not the only times people need to have some kind of help given afterwards, to allow them heal and deal with what they’ve been through. Even in relationships, and between couples who engage in rough sex and other kinds of intense erotic activity, there is definitely the need for some form of aftercare in order to help bring them back to earth, so to speak.
Aftercare is a process which two partners will find necessary from time to time. Whether you’re practicing in sex that’s mild or wild, you’ll both require those moments post-coitus that’s sure to affirm your emotional bonds. Aftercare involves the couple tending to one another especially when they need to process a just-completed sexual experience which may have taken a lot from them physically and psychologically.
Truth be told, certain acts of lovemaking can be draining, and even extreme enough to exhaust the participants’ energies in a physical, mental as well as emotional manner. Some partners, after this experience may wish to just be left to rest and recover.
However, it has been shown to be more advisable to provide one or both of the partakers to whatever comfort, reassurance and support that may be required. For some people, it can be very hard to come down from such an erotic high given by certain sexual activity. There may be that feeling of exhilaration, fulfillment, which can easily turn into a feeling of being traumatized especially when reality sets in.
Simply picture yourself partaking in a long played out scene of intense pleasure, whereby there is an increase of both hormonal as well as chemical reactions within your body. There’s adrenalin pumping through your veins, while you get so into it that you may even reach a state of total lack of clarity. Then imagine trying to come down from that! The nervous system is put under a lot of strain of ups and downs, which is sure to leave some in not just a state of fatigue, but confusion as well.
With care, patience and attention, one partner can provide means for the other to come back down naturally from that blissful peak. This way, you can both get refreshed and ready to face the day and the world.
Aftercare can be Vital
There is the mistaken notion that aftercare is only for scenes involving hardcore sexual practices of the chains and whips range. Not true. Vanilla couples engage in rough sex time and again, and these involve many highly charged sessions of erotic play which can take them right to the edge.
In these cases, normal couples have seen the importance of monitoring one another’s reactions by the end of such scenes. This is especially true where there were some periods of play in which you find you or your partner have drifted away, caught up in the heat and power of the moment. These periods have been likened many times to that ‘high’ provided by alcohol or drugs.
You don’t really know what’s going on- you don’t really even care. All that matters is the deep, forceful, blissful place you’re in that you never want to let go of. That’s until you come crashing down – which is where aftercare comes in.
Couples who share a deep compassion and interest in each other’s welfare will find aftercare to be vital to a relationship where rough sex plays a key function in the bedroom. Vanilla couples can’t be described as “ordinary” or normal anymore; such partners are finding ways to explore new erotic horizons which are both safe and thrilling. But then they still take the time out to show affection and care especially after the completion of one profound scene or the other.
There’s no doubt that we all need care and attention from our partners after sex to give that feeling of being cherished and appreciated. If not, one or both of the lovers gets to feel used, unimportant or deprived in some way. This destroys and negates what ever joyful experience you both shared beforehand, and that’s too bad. When a lover simply rolls over after the act and falls asleep or leaves the room to go on to some other matter of interest, this can have a negative effect.
In its simplest form, aftercare can just be you taking the time to linger on, giving your partner that needed feeling of security till they can finally handle being left on their own. Sharing passionate levels of intimacy with another person, no matter how close, can easily leave one feeling vulnerable when the act is done.
One may feel the need to then put up former barriers and walls to protect against too much emotional exposure. To avoid this, partners should form a nurturing atmosphere which provides support and a sense of belonging.
Balancing sex and love in a relationship can prove to be quite challenging. Some partners need reassurance almost every step of the way during lovemaking, so why not after? There may be occasions during sex with your partner that you feel you may be giving too much of yourself away.
You offer up parts of yourself that you’ve probably never shared with anyone else, stripping away many of your most personal defenses. This may give you the feeling that perhaps, you opening up in ways that may somehow, be used against you by an unworthy lover.
To maintain mutual integrity, either partners must help each other find their own individual inner strength, especially when the sexual scene has taken both of them places they have never explored before. Rough sex involves a lot of giving as well as taking and there is the need to have that principle of aftercare which should become part of their sexual routine.
A little hugging goes a long way; embracing your partner is always a powerful tool of affection. There’s a mutual benefit as both can feel a bond brought on by the close contact that is not necessarily sexual. Gentle, soothing kissing and cuddly, even tender words of endearment and encouragement can help with aftercare.
In some cases, even performing an erotic act such as oral sex on the male or female is highly soothing especially when done in a calming manner. Even feeding your partner some chocolate has been known to be a great means of aftercare since chocolate is known to help the quick release of endorphin.