A girls first time sex is a big thing, and it’s a step in every female’s life that can bring curiosity, trepidation, excitement and even a bit of fear. With common thoughts of, will I be good enough? Will I please my partner? Or will it hurt being all very common and perfectly normal feelings.

When you have made the decision that you are ready to have sex the first time, make sure that it’s definitely your decision. Some girls can have the view that they want it to be something special with someone special, while others may just want to get it over with. Whatever your view point, ensure you stick to your guns as to what feels right for you. A girls first time sex will only happen once so make sure you are fully prepared and ready for your decision.

Advice for Girls First Time Sex


Having sex the first time is all about preparation. It’s preparing yourself firstly in your mind that yes you are definitely ready, and then it’s preparing your body for what is about to come. The easiest and most pain free way to prepare your body for penetration is through plenty of foreplay. Not just on the day when you are actually going to do it but the weeks or even months before.

One of the best ways to prepare for girls first time sex is through fingering. This gets you used to the sensation of something going inside you, and if your partner is a virgin as well, it can also help them to become more familiar with your anatomy. Ensure he pays plenty of attention to your clitoris. Have him rub it gently with his fingers up and down, this should feel good and your vagina should naturally lubricate, preparing and inviting a finger in. Before you actually try penetration, make sure your partner includes plenty of this foreplay including kissing and caressing to ensure you are ready in your mind and your body.

Plan Your Location

When having sex the first time, it’s really important that you plan well in advance where you are going to do it. It will be a much more positive experience if you are somewhere where you feel completely comfortable without the chance of someone barging in. Regardless of where you are, it’s likely that you will feel a level of physical discomfort so it’s definitely worth waiting for the best opportunity to ensure the environment you are losing your virginity in is the most comfortable for you.

Choose Your Position

A girls first time sex can go from a positive to a less positive experience depending on the position you try. Some may consider trying the girl on top sex position for their first time as it potentially enables you to have the most control over what is happening. The problem with this position is that lowering yourself on to a penis for the very first time can actually be more painful than other positions. It’s like trying to rip a band-aid off your sensitive skin. You know that it’s going to hurt so you keep putting it off. You try a little bit but it hurts too much and you stop. Finally you just rip it off quickly, but unfortunately that approach isn’t likely going to make your first time sex the easiest.

The most likely position for the least amount of discomfort is missionary position. From this position your partner can wrap his arms around you and slowly guide himself in. You can talk to each other, let him know when to keep going and when to stop, while still having the ability to kiss you and try to keep it as intimate as possible.

Come Prepared With Lubricant

All vaginas come in varying different sizes, but considering you have never had penetrative sex before, your vagina won’t yet be used to a large object protruding inside. Combined with an intact hymen, you might have some difficulty actually getting it in. One of the best tips for first time sex, is to try to make a conscious effort to get some lubricant such as KY Jelly beforehand. Most people have sex with lubricant anyway, so there is no shame or harm in using it. Once you rub some on your partner’s penis and also on the opening of your vagina you will understand how much of a difference it will make. Importantly, lubricant will make insertion easier and a lot less painful.

Always Use Protection

You are not ready for sex unless you come well prepared with contraception and always protect yourself against STI’S. A girls first time sex sometimes means that she has to be the one to really enforce this. Yes you can get pregnant and catch a sexually transmitted disease the first time so don’t leave anything to chance that could make your first time regrettable. It can sound scary, but not if you take the correct precautions.

Will It Hurt?

Everyone wants to know if a girls first time sex will hurt, how much and will you bleed. There is no definitive answer as every person’s body is different. Some girls may feel a sharp tug or pinch as her hymen is being stretched, which can result in some light bleeding if it breaks. Others however may not feel this sort of pain at all, possibly having stretched their hymen previously without even realizing it, simply by playing sport or horse riding.

It’s important to remember that the sensation of pain is not very long lasting and is very manageable. You may take a sharp breath in then realize that everything is ok. Experiencing the feeling of penetration and something moving inside you may feel more foreign to some girls than actually the point of penetration. Overall it’s nothing to be scared of, it might seem strange at first but after a little practice is when you will start to really enjoy it.

The best advice for a girls first time sex is to get to know your partner well beforehand. Have open discussion together about your thoughts and your fears, practice plenty of foreplay and get really used to each other’s bodies. Importantly, choose someone who you feel completely comfortable with and totally trust for a really positive first time experience.

Published by Rosie Raphaelle

Her mission is to show women how to have fun, safe and meaningful sex. Her sex tips articles has been published in many women's magazines.

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